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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My last night

Sometimes your heart hurts, cause you know you're giving up something you really want. It's for the best though right? It's always for the best. Part of me is glad that school is over because I want to run away from everyone just run and run and then actually start running rather than walking. The other part of me wants to stay here though and take chances.

Taking chances. That's really something I need to work on. I stop myself A LOT from doing things that I could benefit from, or at least learn from. Maybe I wouldn't get anything out of those chances at all, but I'll never know.

There are some chances though that I just can't risk, because friendship means more to me than romance. And I'm not ready. I'm just not ready to make that move. This isn't like taking off a band-aid. I have to do this slowly, to protect myself.

My room is packed (sorta, not well) and here I am in a place I called home for 9 months. I look around and I think wow, these walls now hold the stories of a big part of my life...I can't take back the choices I've made, and it's a feeling of accomplishment. I did a lot for myself, and that just means I have 3 more years to do it all over again. I do feel like crying tonight though, happy and sad tears.

Close to a year ago, I was graduating high school, time flies.