“There are all kinds of ways to forestall graduation. Taking a term off, getting suspended, not completing courses, all of these are valid.” Zonker

Mathematical equations,
roaring laughter.
crisp page,
watched clock.
Clicked pen,
new text,
packed up,
forty minutes,
three days,
final exams,
time wasted,
access granted,
straight a's,
not important,
signed yeaerbooks,
tears cried,
weekend parties,
highschool over,
life starting.

“Friendships are what our dreams are made of. We hold onto each other with its binding love. We stand close to each other, hand in hand, showing each

Stop.
Heart beat.
Clammy.
Insecure.
Past.
Forgotten.
Broken.
Lost.
Waiting.
Crying.
Remembering.
Our Song.
Broken Record.
Forgiveness.
Absent.
More tears.
Begin to shake.
Can't look you in the eye.
Too many words.
Not enough sentences.
Awkward smiles.
Embracing hugs.
What if's.
Not worth it.
Whose fault?
I'm Sorry.

“I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.” -Tammy Faye Bakker

I love shopping! I love shopping for everything from shoes, to dresses, to rompers (It's a real word I promise), to curtains, to dish soap!

I really do love shopping. Because I think it releases endorphins- you know things that get released when you exercise to make you feel happy. i would like to think that shopping, releases those same happy hormones...because although i could get tight abs from working out, i can get pumps on sale for $10 dollars...and my feet will no longer feel fat.


But I also believe shopping is an art form, one that takes careful consideration. I believe each person has a different style of shopping technique that they apply to their adventures.

So now i shall share with everyone my style of shopping.

first and foremost...i have no plan. I walk into a store and look for a color that catches my eye, and then i find something that goes with it....or i find another piece in the same color, or i find something completely different, and then i hit the dressing room. Now my plan of attack in there is to throw clothes around the room while dancing to the music over the PA system till i find an item of clothing that accents my bodacious...personality.

Ok so maybe I don't have a beautiful plan of attack, but it works for me.

“Piping down the valleys wild, Piping songs of pleasant glee, On a cloud I saw a child.” -William Blake

I now feel the need to expand my writing in to one of my favorite topics...


There are tons of people who enjoy this show of "low" comedy, and an equal amount of those who hate the show with a fiery passion.

Truth is I have moments where the show is my world. As well as moments that I feel the need to cover my eyes from the disaster on the screen.

These reactions from the public, including myself, are expected. Have we not been a nation raised to express our emotions to the fullest, even if we must hurt others around us, doing the exact same thing we are.

In the words of a wise man...


"Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?"

We have lost the do good, caring, loving, respectful....ok who am I kidding....the majority of the population has never viewed the world, or treated the world as a place full of manners....but its true really!!!! This country is such a beautiful place, full of beautiful people.

When Glee came on I thought it would be the average, musical comedy show that already graced networks, but it turns out Glee is an uplifting, positive, real life explanation. I enjoy the show because it breathes and lives like me. There are episodes that connect to the care free, pants on the ground part of life, and there are episodes that understand sometimes crying is necessary.

If you've never watched Glee take the time to find an episode you like, one with music you connect to and watch it, learn to connect to emotion you always try to hide.

if you have watched Glee and found it wasn't for you...that's ok you are entitled to your opinion...just as the rest of the world.

“That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, "

I was on face-book today and had one of the most...shocking, touching, possibly awakening conversations with my cousin two years younger than myself. I will be changing her name so she does not feel outed on the internet. Please disregard all spelling errors I am leaving the messages in the original format.

Me-hi i love you

Niccy-Thanks with the day i have been having, that means a lot.

Me-whats wrong :(:( im free tonight if you need me

Niccy- no i have a lot of things to do for school. Its just today i realized, almost everyone i know, has taken me for granted, i no longer exist o am worth the fight, cause at the end of the day when THEY ARE hurt, i am there... no matter who.. no matter what it is, i am there and they don't understand how easily i can walk away.

Me-i agree with you and you are an amazing person to realize that so soon in life
you can walk away...and sometimes you will but its not in your nature to be cold hearted and that's a good thing i know being there for others all the time is draining

Niccy-its just i make an effort to keep people in y life, i let them feel great and appreciated....WHENEVER i can. its just.. i know they care, but i don't think anyone is willing to fight for me when i will take a bullet for them....

Me-god kid you are so wise you'd be surprised how many will there when you fall...and if you don't see it...that's OK you aren't supposed to

Niccy-I know i am supposed to figure this out later in life, i know my mind works to fast sometimes i jump to conclusions, i mean i learned to not let my parents stand in the way of my happiness and success, shouldn't that happen when i am like 29? moved out of the house?

Me-yea but i think you decided to "move out" a long time ago

Niccy-not 15. and still in high school? seriously am i mute? or invisible, it has to be one of those!!! i swear!!

Me- no...its not that you're strong and secure and sometimes that's the equivalent to being non existent. you look like you don't need help...so people never ask but they should

Niccy- And ya i know, and in reality, i don't need help, i normally don't need someone to catch me when i fall, its just nice knowing more than one person can hear or see me.... that's all


Me-
i hear you.
i see you
i love you
i look up to you

Niccy- how can you look up to me? my life is a total tester.. i am rarely happy, rarely know where i want to go in life, and rarely have any motivation but myself....

Me-
i look up to you because you smile when you should cry, and laugh when you want to scream, you treat people with respect even if they treat you like dirt. you love with all of your heart, and you always give second chances.

i look up to you because you have fear of the unknown, yet you don't let it stop you. you rely on yourself to get you where you want, and no one could stop you.

i look up to you because although you are two years younger than me...you see life so much more clearly than i do

“To rid ourselves of our shadows - who we are - we must step into either total light or total darkness” -Jeremy Preston Johnson

I miss you…sometimes.
I lay in bed
The blanket resting upon the parts of me i gave to you.
But the blanket
feels cold around me.
I fall asleep
to the whirl of the fan rather
than the beat of your heart
against me.
I  close my eyes and
see
you smiling with so much love
for me.

Your tussled hair
your brilliant eyes
the roundness of your lips
and my heart still
flutters.
I’m so close
i can feel your hand on my cheek
I can hide my face in your shirt
I’m
so
close

And i smile
i smile as the tears cloud my vision of the
perfect you
I’ve created in my mind.
the you.
that would.
still love.
me.

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.” - Wayne Dyer

So here’s a status update on my life…the exciting thing that it is. Please realize that the previous statement was dripping with sarcasm. 

My last high school play is over. Meet me in St Louis I believe was a great success. I enjoyed my job for the show so much. You see, I had no real job…i did some hair, some makeup, and I dressed my friend into her costumes. Some times  I think I am making the wrong choice of pursuing acting and that I belong on the technical side of theatre, where the energy and rush is!!

And what else is new with me? I graduate in….18 DAYS!!! It is so close I can almost feel the cold air on the field and hear my name called. It’s weird to think that everything I’ve been working towards for the past twelve years is coming to an end.  But I know my life isn't;t over, that although I have enjoyed my life to this point, I have so much left to complete and experience.

My university of choice is ASU…Arizona State University. I am part of the honors college and was accepted into the theatre program. Plus I plan on double majoring. I am so excited to be challenged in a whole new aspect. I leave for college 5 weeks early to participate in a summer program . It is a wonderful thing to become part of a different community. I am looking forward to building new relationships, new friendships, and new goals. All I want in life has become accessible to me and I’m going to grab life by the horns!!!

Sorry there hasn’t been a post in so long…production week tends to suck up all of my time…Happy mothers day to all you beautiful people that read my blog.

I know I happen to be all over the place in this piece but there seems to be a lot on my mind. my body is really showing a difference in all the weight I have lost. I am down 22lbs and I feel amazing!!! I start my diet again in a month and I looking forward to it. I go back to ZUMBA tomorrow and i am looking forward to it. A week off made me feel very lazy.

I’m also thinking of using this blog to post some of my writing so people can comment and lend some advice.

As for now that’s all I have to say… I think my multiple paragraphs of me rambling should be slightly entertaining for a couple of seconds.

Have a good night!!!

“All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.”-Ernest Hemingway

This is my very first night as a blogger…weird I know. You know I’m not sure anyone will read my blogs or find me entertaining, but I am going to write anyway. See cause here’s the thing, I am what my blog says I am, the average student. I graduate in 25 days, and then I’m off to college. It’ll be my time to say “Hello world! Here i am ready for you to throw me to the ground and walk all over me while I dump thousands into my future!! and i can’t wait!!” It’s not really scary, it’s just…happening. Life is happening. And I am looking forward to life. I know I am new to all of this and I’m not quite sure what this blog will be about, maybe homework tips, outfit ideas to wear on dates, the absence of love in my life, the usual teenage girl’s life ending disasters and maybe I’ll find someone that will view the world through the same rose colored glasses. So here I am world…Anna-Tanna has Spoken.