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Saturday, July 17, 2010

“Of all the things which wisdom acquires to produce the blessedness of the complete life far the greatest is the possession of Friendship.” -Epicurus


–adjective, luck·i·er, luck·i·est.


having or marked by good luck; fortunate


happening fortunately


bringing or foretelling good luck, or supposed to do so.

It is not often I consider myself a lucky person. I don’t win raffles, i always find the penny face down, and even when i don’t walk under a ladder I seem to come in to contact with (sorta) near death experiences.

However I do consider myself lucky in the friendship department. Every time I talk to one of my friends, it’s like my heart does a little touch down dance, jazz hands and everything. It’s that moment where I know I did SOMETHING exactly right. I love calling them…or even better them calling me and just smiling cause I know they care, and laughing cause they understand what I’m saying without me even muttering a word.


I miss that feeling, I used to feel it everyday, and it became such a part of me, but I know in time it’ll come back, in time. You see I’m at this new stage, the one people come across every once in a blue moon (and the moon isn’t blue that often), where I’m making new friends, and losing some old ones. Now I know people tell me don’t worry everything will work itself out…but what I do best is worry. Actually the top two things I do best is worry and bake.

So now i sit at my lap top, eating a batch of brownies created by me (not the whole batch, just one piece) and I think to myself…..”wow, I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have and be making so many friends. I know eventually those I was close to may drift away, but hopefully they’ll remember me”

This post is for those of you, who are sitting here reading my words with your best friend beside you: hold onto them

This post if for those of you who find your self a little alone in the world right now: sometimes you have to be your best friend, and then they’ll come running like a bunch of college kids on break, for the homemade food in the kitchen.

This post is for those of you who just lost a best friend, no matter how it happened: you touched their lives.

This post is for those of you who are like me, stuck on a wooden bridge with lava underneath you, and a happy place on both sides: you can always build a better bridge and travel back and forth

Monday, July 12, 2010

“Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last” -Remy de Gourmont

I don’t know what is considered a first kiss. Cause I have far to many to count I believe. I think I was kissed in third grade by a kid who smelt like apples, I was kissed in eighth grade by a boy who liked my best friend, and was truly gross, and I was kissed by a boy who became a fantastic boyfriend. All of them were very, VERY different. To the point that I’m not sure some of them were even considered a kiss….more so like a handshake, or a wave hello to someone you don’t even like.

It’s that awkward moment there you can feel they don’t wear chapstick, and they’re breathing so heavy you look like you’re in a shampoo commercial with your hair blowing in the breeze, that you realize every first kiss with someone will always be the same. You stand so far apart that you lean in at a ninety degree angle, you’re not sure when to close your eyes cause you want to see when they close their eyes and eventually it’s a staring contest.

Sometimes when you really like a person and you go into kiss them, you part your lips….just a little to show you like what you’re doing and you’re ok with their move…then BAM you come into contact with a face that is kind of acting like a brick wall. It’s not pleasant, nor in anyway romantic.

Now I know I am only eighteen and if I’m lucky I’ll have my chance at tons of first kisses, but so far I can’t see how any of them would be any different. Every relationship starts (and sometimes ends) with a bad first kiss. It doesn’t happen like the movies show…hell my kisses three months into a relationship aren’t anything like the movies. The only possible way a kiss like that can happen is if
1. You’re kissing an actor.
2. you are an actor.
3. You’re making out with your TV as the notebook is playing.

Now just because I say that a first kiss is bad, doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed them all, sorta. You see there is a certain factor in a first kiss, the excitement, the wonder if this one will be better, or the sheer fact that the awkward kiss will be experienced with someone who is hhh-attractive (the point where you make sexual noises because they are so stinking hot!!).

So, enjoy your awkward first kiss, it’s a learning experience, it’s a personal connection that you share with that person…sometimes it’s even considered a person’s hobby :)