Rewritten

As the lights dim in the room, my hand finds his, our fingers intertwining never before fitting so right. My head rests slightly on his shoulder, his breath in time with mine. His lips are softly placed on my forehead, they linger, make me forget the broken promises of the past. I gaze up to have my eyes meet his, hazel in color they shine brighter than ever letting myself get lost in a moment of false emotion, but none of that matters not when I’m in his arms. I want nothing more than our lips to become more than just external pieces of our selves. One simple kiss turns into eternity of hope and love and belonging. I press closer trying to get myself as close as possible never wanting to experience life without him beside me. I don’t want this to be the last time I see this, I feel this, I won’t let this end because nothing is ever better that way, i love everything he does and will never go anywhere. I love him...I’ll love him forever.

As she wipes away the blackened tears she finds herself still in his arms, she pushes away ready to escape and leave everything he ever said behind her, ready to act as though those words he said never existed. Her body shivers at the fact that never again will she go crying to him, never again will she hear I love you, never again will she be what he need . She still loves him, she said she always would and she meant it. He walks off the front porch of her house with a flood of tears streaming down his face. He keeps his back to her so he can't see the mess he created. He still loves her.

Weeks and months fly by, her head still in a daze, nothing is done without thinking of him and she can't seem to wipe her heart of those previous months. As he tosses his graduation hat in the air she contemplates rushing the field being taken into his arms and smiling thanking the heavens above for this boy who is everything she's been praying for. Instead she slowly hops the fence and strolls to the newly gone seniors. Their eyes meet and she smiles gives a thumbs up and keeps forward wondering when he will ever stop being the one thing she wants the most. The rest of the night means nothing.

She sits upon the moving boxes stacked in her room, looking at the walls that bear pictures of her life. The one that catches her eye isn’t where she is perched upon the lap of her favorite grandfather, or the one that shows her friends all lined up trying to accomplish a stance only Charlie’s Angels should be allowed to do. It isn’t the picture of her former best friend that holds so much underlying tension and pain beneath the glass, nor is it the picture of her, silent, eyes slightly closed, reminiscing in black and white. It is the picture of him and her, and she can’t help but shed a tear thinking back to that day, and how nothing could ever amount to what she felt. As she stares into that picture, she realizes she was foolish to think something so naïve could out last all the other memories that surround her. And as the last of her childhood life is packed away and she begins to move on, and packs away every thought she ever had of him.

Deep into her studies, nothing comes to mind often other than math equations, lab schedules, essay prompts, and Saturday night parties. On occasion a guy catches her eye, throws her a quick smirk, and continues on. Nothing goes beyond flirtation and a steamy quick paced fool around. She has stories to tell to friends, and they all laugh and congratulate her on each accomplishment, but something is always missing. The connection, the passion, the comfort, and the memories she packed away. Before long, every emotion pours into her being, flowing through her entirety, energizing her. Lights beam down on her differently than before. Everyone seems brighter, people seem to laugh more, guys seem more attractive. There is a new bounce in her step, and although she is no closer to finding romance, she no longer misses him, or wants him, or needs him. But she does thank him for allowing herself the possibility to fall in love all over again.

*Pieces of this story are taken from real life experiences, however not all events have taken place.*