I was on face-book today and had one of the most...shocking, touching, possibly awakening conversations with my cousin two years younger than myself. I will be changing her name so she does not feel outed on the internet. Please disregard all spelling errors I am leaving the messages in the original format.
Me-hi i love you
Niccy-Thanks with the day i have been having, that means a lot.
Me-whats wrong :(:( im free tonight if you need me
Niccy- no i have a lot of things to do for school. Its just today i realized, almost everyone i know, has taken me for granted, i no longer exist o am worth the fight, cause at the end of the day when THEY ARE hurt, i am there... no matter who.. no matter what it is, i am there and they don't understand how easily i can walk away.
Me-i agree with you and you are an amazing person to realize that so soon in life
you can walk away...and sometimes you will but its not in your nature to be cold hearted and that's a good thing i know being there for others all the time is draining
Niccy-its just i make an effort to keep people in y life, i let them feel great and appreciated....WHENEVER i can. its just.. i know they care, but i don't think anyone is willing to fight for me when i will take a bullet for them....
Me-god kid you are so wise you'd be surprised how many will there when you fall...and if you don't see it...that's OK you aren't supposed to
Niccy-I know i am supposed to figure this out later in life, i know my mind works to fast sometimes i jump to conclusions, i mean i learned to not let my parents stand in the way of my happiness and success, shouldn't that happen when i am like 29? moved out of the house?
Me-yea but i think you decided to "move out" a long time ago
Niccy-not 15. and still in high school? seriously am i mute? or invisible, it has to be one of those!!! i swear!!
Me- no...its not that you're strong and secure and sometimes that's the equivalent to being non existent. you look like you don't need help...so people never ask but they should
Niccy- And ya i know, and in reality, i don't need help, i normally don't need someone to catch me when i fall, its just nice knowing more than one person can hear or see me.... that's all
Me-
i hear you.
i see you
i love you
i look up to you
Niccy- how can you look up to me? my life is a total tester.. i am rarely happy, rarely know where i want to go in life, and rarely have any motivation but myself....
Me-
i look up to you because you smile when you should cry, and laugh when you want to scream, you treat people with respect even if they treat you like dirt. you love with all of your heart, and you always give second chances.
i look up to you because you have fear of the unknown, yet you don't let it stop you. you rely on yourself to get you where you want, and no one could stop you.
i look up to you because although you are two years younger than me...you see life so much more clearly than i do
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